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Why You Need to Cultivate Humility to Raise Children with ADHD

We’ve been talking a lot about humility, but you might still be wondering what it has to do with ADHD? First, let’s look at a biblical definition of humility. Philippians 2:3-4 says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” To boil that down, God’s definition of humility is to put the needs of others before your own.

ADHD is often hereditary. That means, if you have a child with ADHD, it’s fairly likely at least one parent has it as well. Many people who experience ADHD often have trouble identifying and managing their feelings (emotional dysregulation) and are more deeply hurt when they feel rejected (rejection sensitive dysphoria). We all know that where egos rule, relationships fall apart. I don’t know anyone who enjoys spending time with someone who is proud and boastful -the opposite of humility. Add in emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitive dysphoria, and you’ve got a recipe for some really rough relationships in your home. But a home where humility is practiced is a home where everyone feels heard, appreciated, and loved.

Humility is essential in our relationship with God because it:

  • Reminds us who God is (the all powerful creator who works all things together for His good) and who we are (created beings made for His glory)

  • Keeps the gift of the cross at the forefront by reminding us that we would be hopelessly lost without Jesus’ sacrifice.

  • Reminds us of our identity as God’s holy, beloved children who He so desperately wanted to have a relationship with, He went to pretty desperate measures to make it happen.

Humility is essential in our relationship with others because it:

  • Leaves room for forgiveness and reconciliation. If we are prideful, we won’t be willing to accept our weaknesses or forgive others for theirs.

  • Gives us hope when things seem hopeless because we are reminded that we aren’t alone.

  • Frees us from the guilt of messing up. Humility allows me to say I’m sorry and ask for forgiveness or to admit that I don’t have all the answers.

  • Allows us to work together as the body of Christ to fulfill his call on us and have greater impact for Him by maximizing our strengths.

When we practice humility in our homes and model for our children with (or without) ADHD, there are some pretty great outcomes. That home that was once filled with really rough relationships begins to heal and becomes loving and happy. When we are humble, it cultivates a heart that is willing to learn from weaknesses and mistakes. Instead of barriers to relationships, mistakes become opportunities to learn how to love God and others more effectively. Humility builds up rather than tearing down our kids by celebrating their accomplishments and strengths and gently correcting their missteps. And humility gives us and our kids a lot of freedom because we no longer have to get everything right, be perfect all the time and know every answer to every question. We are free to admit when we are wrong or when we need help.

Here are three super practical ways to begin practicing humility in your home today:

  • Seek to forgive and be forgiven.

  • Give your children a voice to share when they feel they’ve been wronged.

  • Recognize and appreciate the differences you see in them and in others.

Learn more about these three steps by watching this week's video:

What other ways can you practice humility in your home? What are the benefits of a home where humility is practiced?

Need more help? Book a free Discovery Session here to find out how my Family Home Framework can help your family flourish. Subscribe here to get your free guide “10 Strategies to Calm Your Emotional Child”.

The content found on Flourishing Family Coaching’s website and blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding ADHD, anxiety, depression or any other medical conditions. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website or blog.

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